Fancy Joes

Remember growing up in the 80's when your parents had less money and would get tired of dealing with you/your sibling's tantrums so they would combine with another like family to form an economical super group of chaos and calamity? The parents would play some sort of adult card game and drink from gallons of wine, and the kids would catch fireflies and then regroup in the den to watch the non-cartoon, 80's version of Alice in Wonderland with Ringo Starr and Sammie Davis Jr. in full costume and make-up. Well, our night always involved Sloppy Joes. Why not? -- It's extremely cheap to make in large quantities, it lasts for days, and there is virtually no way to screw it up. Here's my mildly fancier take on them.

1 yellow onion
1 green pepper
2-3 cloves raw garlic
olive oil, salt/pepper
2 lbs. lean ground beef
3 Tbsp. mustard
1 1/4 c. catsup/bbq sauce combo
cumin

hamburger buns
cabbage
cheese/pickles (optional)


Chop yellow onion, green pepper, and a few cloves of garlic; throw them in a heavy metal pan with some olive oil, salt, pepper, and then turn onto medium heat. Let these stew a bit until they're a little soft.



Add lean ground beef; lightly brown all sides. Add in: mustard, ketchup/barbeque sauce combo (choose your own proportions), more salt and pepper, cumin (if you have it), and any other seasonings that sound good with beef.

Simmer meat mess on stove for about a half hour or as long as you can wait. On a toasted hamburger bun, stack meat glop with shredded cabbage, cheddar cheese, and dill pickles. Serve with the largest glass of iced Coca Cola and watch Ringo sing and dance.




Carol Channing gave me nightmares with this bloodcurdling transformation to a goat. "Better... much beeeettteeerrr...."