Smoke Da Okra

In the deep and dirty South, okra is kind of a staple delicacy. Every KFC and fried food hashery has some form or another - usually fried and served with ketchup or gravy. This was the first time I tried what I've been told is the best way to eat them this summer.

Rinse the okra in a colander and sprinkle with olive oil, seasoned salt, fresh black pepper, and about a tablespoon of finely chopped garlic. Toss it all together and stack side by side onto skewers on grill for just a few minutes on each side.


Pork on the grill is kind of self-explanatory. Dust it with your best seasonings and no sauce - I use a combination of dry poultry rub and beef rub because pork seems to be somewhere in the middle. Marinades and sauces cause unnecessary char and the grill to become ablaze, at least from my personal experiences.

Another trick to getting tender pork by getting the grill really hot. Sear both sides of the meat while the grill is scalding, turn it down and add the skewers of okra cooking an additional 10 minutes or so, all together, turning skewers and meat only once.

To finish a well-rounded and healthy meal, I added a can of Rotel (diced tomatoes and green chilies) to the complimentary amount of water needed for preparation with two small yellow rice packages. See below for Raspberry Chipotle Sauce recipe.





Just down the street from my house is Super King - a giant, Armenian-run grocery store that has a surplus of fresh produce and deli options at phenomenally low prices. For instance, this entire meal cost $14 and provided plenty - 4 chops, 4 ribs, 6 skewers, rice, and the following recipe. Besides the constant mobs of irate Armenians, this market (that also sells Hookahs) has a drawback in comparison to your local Ralph's or Von's: no ready-made, USA-label, packaged and prepared foods like Campbell's soup, Easy-Mac, or any kind of raspberry chipotle sauce. So I made my own.

Raspberry Walnut Chipotle Sauce:

In a small chopper, add 1/2 small white onion, 1 clove of garlic, 2 small chipotle or like peppers, and 1/4 c. walnuts, and chop. If you don't have one, they're pretty easy to find at a thrift store and worth the $3 for saving man power and your hand muscles. If not, grab a knife.

Toss chopped goods in a small but thick saucepan with about a tablespoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper and cook on medium-high heat until onions are caramelized. Add one pint of raspberries and cook until soft - about 3 minutes. Then, add 2 Tbsp. vinegar, 1/4 c. sugar, and a scoop of apricot preserves (optional - because I had it).

Turn heat to a low simmer and cook down for about 10 more minutes. Let cool before serving. Also great to serve with cream cheese and crackers or with other meats. Keep refrigerated.

Strawberry Jello Bundt Cake: Fill the hole with goodness

I've requested this next cake as my birthday cake each year since about age 11. My mom always had no problem with this because, contrary to my brother's request of German Chocolate cake, it was cheap and easy to make - homogeneous to my blog. A twist on an old favorite, this cake packs the punch you can only expect when it includes a box of jello, a box of powdered sugar, a stick of butter, and a cup of oil. Get ready to unbutton your pants! - 'cause you're gonna need the room.


The cake:
1 box white cake mix
3 Tbsp. flour
1 sm. pkg. strawberry jello (dissolved in 1/2 c. water)
4 eggs
1 c. vegetable oil
1/2 pkg. frozen strawberries, thawed


Mix ingredients with mixer adding strawberries last. Bake in greased and floured cake at 350 degrees for amount of time on cake box (depending on the shape/size of pan(s) you use), or until toothpick comes up clean. Let cool then use mixer to make and top with icing.

The icing:

1 stick butter
1 pkg. powdered sugar
1/2 pkg. frozen strawberries, thawed


As you cut the cake, you will see the icing gush from the warm center. Spread freely according to taste.

Chip Crumb Casserole

Occasionally I find myself with several virtually empty, crumb-filled bags of tortilla chips -- too lazy to have thrown them out because they have a shelf life of about a year. There's really only two things I can imagine doing with these extras: add them in an egg scramble for Mexican Migas, or throw them in this following Tex-Mex casserole conglomerate.

Casserole:
1 cooked chicken
1 small package Spanish rice
1 can black beans
1 small can black olives
1 pint sour cream
1/2 c. grated cheese
Corn tortilla chip crumbs
fresh red or green salsa
salt/pepper and other seasonings



Cook rice on stove (about 20 minutes); shred meat off entire carcass of chicken, preheat oven to 350. When ready, butter sides and bottom of casserole dish and layer chip crumbs, black beans, some salsa, and shredded chicken. Season with salt, pepper, and seasoned salt. Then add cooked Spanish rice, cannabutter (optional), sour cream, more chip crumbs, then finally olives and grated cheese. Pop in preheated oven for about 20 minutes or until cheese is melted.



Update -- the following day I had a few visitors and whipped up these nachos with the leftover ingredients of the casserole (I had some full-sized chips as well).

Fancy Joes

Remember growing up in the 80's when your parents had less money and would get tired of dealing with you/your sibling's tantrums so they would combine with another like family to form an economical super group of chaos and calamity? The parents would play some sort of adult card game and drink from gallons of wine, and the kids would catch fireflies and then regroup in the den to watch the non-cartoon, 80's version of Alice in Wonderland with Ringo Starr and Sammie Davis Jr. in full costume and make-up. Well, our night always involved Sloppy Joes. Why not? -- It's extremely cheap to make in large quantities, it lasts for days, and there is virtually no way to screw it up. Here's my mildly fancier take on them.

1 yellow onion
1 green pepper
2-3 cloves raw garlic
olive oil, salt/pepper
2 lbs. lean ground beef
3 Tbsp. mustard
1 1/4 c. catsup/bbq sauce combo
cumin

hamburger buns
cabbage
cheese/pickles (optional)


Chop yellow onion, green pepper, and a few cloves of garlic; throw them in a heavy metal pan with some olive oil, salt, pepper, and then turn onto medium heat. Let these stew a bit until they're a little soft.



Add lean ground beef; lightly brown all sides. Add in: mustard, ketchup/barbeque sauce combo (choose your own proportions), more salt and pepper, cumin (if you have it), and any other seasonings that sound good with beef.

Simmer meat mess on stove for about a half hour or as long as you can wait. On a toasted hamburger bun, stack meat glop with shredded cabbage, cheddar cheese, and dill pickles. Serve with the largest glass of iced Coca Cola and watch Ringo sing and dance.




Carol Channing gave me nightmares with this bloodcurdling transformation to a goat. "Better... much beeeettteeerrr...."

4 Rotten Bananas

What on Earth can you do with rotten bananas that are crawling with brown spots and reeking of ripeness? If you find yourself in this troubling situation, as I do often, throw them in the freezer until you've got enough (4) to whip together this awesome banana bread -- really, it's more like a cake, but that's just how we roll in the South.



The bread:

1 c. butter
1 1/2c. sugar
2 eggs beaten
4 ripe bananas (thawed, if previously frozen)
1 tsp. vanilla
4 Tbsp. buttermilk

Sift together and add to above mixture:
2 c. flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt

Mix ingredients with mixer. Pour bread batter into two greased/floured bread pans and bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes or until toothpick test comes up clear. Let cool slightly before adding glaze. Heat oven to a broil.



The glaze:

6 Tbsp. butter
2/3 c. brown sugar
5 Tbsp. milk
1/2 c. pecans/walnuts (optional)

Melt butter, brown sugar, and milk in small saucepan on stove at med-high heat; bring to slow boil stirring constantly, until mixture becomes thicker and caramelized. Stir in optional nuts and pour over breads. Pop back into broiling oven and watch until glaze begins to bubble. Cool and serve. Wrap uncut bread in plastic wrap to retain moisture.

A Feast for the Fourth, Party of Two.

My only expectation of this past Independence Day was not unlike that of any other holiday or organized event- that it be centered around some grandiose feast such as that as you see above. The advantage of grilling on this day, and others alike, is that after all the hours of prep work, you can simply throw all of it on at the same time, light a cigarette and pour a drink, and sit by as the grill becomes engulfed in smoke because the cheese is melting through the grate. In the end, it yields a number of toasted and tasty treats in seemingly endless portions.

Bacon-Wrapped Shrimpers:

On a half a piece of pork bacon, stack one large or two medium fresh and raw shrimp (approx 2 lbs. total) and a generous slice of both fresh mozzarella and jalapeno. Roll and fasten with a toothpick. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.


Beef Rolladen:
Use thin cuts of beef to roll a dill pickle spear, long slice of red bell pepper, and about a tablespoon of finely chopped purple onion. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.


Corn and Asparagus:

Pull back husks of corn and remove silk - baste with butter and pinch of salt. Fold husks back over corn. Wash and cut ends from bundle of asparagus; wrap in aluminum foil with several cloves of garlic, coat with olive oil, and season with salt, pepper, and seasoned salt. Seal foil before putting on grill.




Thanks to Brittany for a day of many accomplishments - including a hike to the top of this hill in search of fireworks... for the second time that night. For dessert, we stuffed our faces with a strawberry shortcake combo we threw together with a pound cake from the store, fresh strawberries, and Cool Whip.

The Perfect Snickerdoodle

Surprise, surprise - I made something else that didn't involve leaving the house to retrieve additional ingredients - an abiding trend. Another direct descent from grandma's archives, these snickerdoodles boast the inherent satisfaction that one could only expect from something so simple and timeless. This recipe yields a shit ton of cookies but, as you can easily see, they go fast.

Mix:
1 c. shortening (Crisco)
1-1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs

Sift and stir in:
2-3/4 c. flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt

Roll into walnut-sized balls and then in cinnamon and sugar, and then place on greased cookie sheet. Use index and middle finger to indent balls of dough pressing down slightly.


Bake at 350 degrees for typical cookie length of time - maybe 12 minutes or so. They key with these is to somewhat under-cook them so they remain chewy even after they have cooled.

M-F'in Hushpuppies

This meal started on Sunday night but was interrupted by the harsh, day-in-the-sun, drunken comedown that hit so many people that evening. Luckily I had prepared all of the fixings just before I passed out on the cold wood floor of my apartment - you'll notice I forgot to take prep pictures. Success came the following day. Fried red snapper and green beans joined the mix.

Hushpuppies:

1-1/2 c. fine cornmeal
1-1/2 c. water

Cook 1-2 minutes in saucepan until mushy.
Stir in:
2 eggs
1 onion (chopped)
1/3 c. water

In separate bowl, combine:
1 c. flour
3 tsp. baking powder
3 tsp. salt
1/4 c. sugar
1 can corn
1 jalapeno (chopped)

Combine two mixtures and stir thoroughly before dropping spoonfuls of dough into blistering hot grease.

Fish and Green beans:
Rinse and pat dry two pounds of red snapper or other frying fish. In small bowl, combine one egg and about 1 cup milk. In another, mix equal amounts of bread crumbs and cornmeal; add salt and pepper and other spices. Plunge fish into egg/milk mixture then cover in batter. Deep fry on high for about 2 minutes on each side. Serve with lemon or lime.

Green beans?-- should be easy, but I like to add a couple cubes of chicken bullion to a large pot of water with about 2 lbs grean beans. Cook on med-high for about a half hour or until desired consistency.

DeDe's Nana Pudding

Though I won't be freezing mine one week in advance like she would be doing, my grandmother's banana pudding recipe is the best in the South and another inexpensive, delectable dessert.

The recipe:

5 Tb. flour
3 egg yolks
1-1/2 c. sugar
2 c. milk
lump butter
1 t. vanilla
Box Vanilla wafers or coconut macaroons
Bananas

Beat egg yolks; add small amount of milk, sugar, and flour till smooth; then add rest of milk. Bring to slow boil over medium heat stirring constantly until thick and almost boiling. Turn off burner and add butter and vanilla. In a large baking dish, rub butter along bottom and sides then layer cookies, bananas, then pudding. Repeat and let cool somewhat.


Meringue:
3 egg whites
6 Tb. sugar
Pinch of cream of tartar

Beat egg whites until foamy then add sugar and eventually cream of tartar. Use meringue to cover pudding and bake at 350 until meringue is golden brown, approx. 10 minutes. Serve warm or refrigerate. This dessert always receives the response you're looking for-- just ask these ladies.

Spinach Enchiladas: Leftovers into Leftovers

A few days after the success of "midget muff" night (hope you get that joke by now), I noticed the leftover 93 of 100 corn tortillas on my counter eagerly waiting to be swarmed with dingy white/green fuzzy spots. Along with a wilting head of spinach and sprouting garlic, I thought up this next one then headed to my local supermercado.


Grate a block of Mexican white cheese- set aside. Shred the meat off an entire Mama hen and toss into mixing bowl. On stove, simmer chopped garlic and onions in small amount of olive oil eventually adding rinsed and cut spinach- set aside. Stir with chicken about a third of a pint of Sour Cream and half a pint fresh green salsa- add salt, pepper, and whatever other seasonings tickle your fancy.


Toss in vegetables from stove into chicken bowl, along with a handful of the grated cheese. Stir thoroughly until semi-creamy. Mix remaining sour cream and salsa and fill into pie plate or something similar. Dip both sides of corn tortillas in pie plate then fill tortilla with chicken filling and some cheese. Roll it into a stiff one, and line the bottom of a greased glass baking dish with rest of 14 to 18 enchiladas. Scoop the rest of the sour cream mixture and cheese atop casserole and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until cheese is bubbly.


This is best eaten like all other casseroles- straight from the dish before it goes into the fridge with a lone fork and is eaten one bite at a time over the course of a few days by a variety of migrants and beatniks. Serve with fresh red salsa.