Make Your Own Damn Pizza!

I'm not gonna hide the fact that the Little Caesar's down the road from my pad has the deal of a lifetime: 1 medium cheese/pepperoni pizza and 1 pkg of Crazy bread for $6.25. The problem with this bargain is that after you've had 3/4 of the pizza and the entire batch of breadsticks, you feel less like a content connoisseur and more like a penniless savage that's waiting for seconds in the Thanksgiving Soup line near Skid Row - probably with an equivocal amount of nausea and dizziness. Fuck all that-- Make your own damn pizza!

Head to the market and get a bag of pizza dough. Most places have them; you just have to look. If not, check out the worldwide internet for a recipe. Roll it out with maybe an empty wine bottle. Then, you gotta do the pizza-toss thing that they do in an actual pizzaria - it's the only way to get the pizza crust thin enough. Lay it on a cookie sheet, and then spread a THIN layer of pizza/marinara sauce. Cut up white mushrooms in slices and toss with olive oil balsamic vinegar sauteed on medium until they're soft. Optional sausage to be added in here.


Grab a house slave or dinner guest and have them grate an entire block of mozzarella, and spread it atop the pie.


Slice fresh basil and tomatoes and layer atop cheese. Season with garlic powder (if you have it), salt, pepper, Greek seasoning or something Italian-y.


Pop in the oven until the cheese is bubbly and turning golden brown. Use the temperature setting designated to your specific pizza dough - I think it's 400. Enjoy - F Little Caesar's.



UPDATE: Divide the pizza dough into three parts and roll to make pizza rolls!