Cream Puff Puff Pass

Cream puffs are made from scratch with ingredients that you should always have in the cabinet, along with fresh fruit. The key with this recipe, and baking in general, is that you should always follow the recipe measurements precisely... or else you'll fuck it up. Nonetheless, it's always more than edible and usually the best answer to any sweet tooth or stoner high.


The Puff part:

1 stick butter
1 c. water
Bring to boil. Take off stove and add 1 c. flour. Mix well. Add 4 eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Using a large serving spoon, place round balls on ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 45 minutes. Let cool. Cut off tops and take out excess doughy part in the middle.

The Creamy part:

1 c. sugar
1/2 c. sifted flour*
2 c. milk
3 egg yolks


In double boiler (or thick saucepan on lower heat), put sugar, flour and enough milk to make paste. Stir in egg yolks. Add rest of milk. Cook till it thickens, stirring constantly. Add 2 TB. butter and 1 Tsp. vanilla. Turn fire off and keep beating by hand. Add optional 1 c. coconut and keep stirring until it gets to the right consistency. Fill puffs with cream and choice of berry, place top on, and then sift powdered sugar over top. Garnish with more fruit.

*If making chocolate, sift 1/2 c. cocoa with the flour and omit coconut.

The Midget Muff: the shrimp taco

The shrimp taco, a So-Cal creation, can be found on almost any piled, east-side street corner of Los Angeles- usually near an obscenely bright-colored stucco wall or in a sweaty white van parked near the local drugstore. But who says you can't whip these bad boys up in the comfort and cleanliness of your own home? Best made with fresh shrimp, this easily health-conscious tradition involves a significant amount of prep time but spares the questionable contents in other rivaling tacos.

Peeling shrimp (2lbs.) is a pain in the ass, but once again, this is the key to great tacos. I like to pawn this job off on friends I haven't seen in a while so they are reminded of my expectations of them as a guest at the table- and give everyone else a break. Use a sharp serrated knife to slice open back of shrimp. Use thumbs to split skin and pull down; pinch tail and pull remaining skin. Rinse thoroughly and de-poo.


Add into pan an ample amount of finely chopped jalapeno and garlic in a full bed of olive oil. Turn the burner on med-high. Also, use a pan that can get really hot, like an iron skillet, so that it can sear the shrimp quickly causing them to burst in your mouth. This job ain't for babies neither.


Dice plenty of cilantro, tomatoes, and green cabbage (cut against grain for long, thin strips). Set aside as toppings for taco.


When the garlic and jalapenos are sizzling, cautiously dump in the raw shrimp and season with anything you have that sounds good- but at least salt, pepper, cayenne, cajun seasoning. Sear shrimp on both sides as best you can, then reduce heat and cook for another 4-6 minutes until done. Turn off burner and add about 1/4 c. heavy cream and a tablespoon or so of the chopped cilantro. Heat the corn tortillas on a lone burner and stack taco fixings (shrimp, then cabbage, then cilantro and salsa). Squeeze lime over prepared taco. Serves 3-5 depending on size of appetite.

The Oozing Banana

More than just the single ladies out there should have a banana in their house. After all, banana's are America's #1 fruit, and the average American consumes more than 28 pounds of this phallic fruit each yeah. The following recipe can be created with as few ingredients as pictured above but can, like most last-minute munchies, be manipulated to fit anyone's pantry or budget. Serving size is one banana.

1 large ripe banana
1 flour tortilla
2 Tb. brown sugar
2 Tb. butter
1 bar chocolate
2 Tb. white sugar
1 Tsp. cinnamon
1/4 c. chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread butter or Crisco on one side of an eager tortilla. On a greased metal baking sheet, line up broken chunks of chocolate down center of ungreased side of tortilla and lay banana immediately atop. Evenly sprinkle brown sugar and dollops of butter alongside banana and chocolate. Tightly roll the tortilla around banana and place on sheet so chocolate sits atop banana while cooking. Sprinkle white sugar, cinnamon, and walnuts over wrapped banana and make an attempt at an even distribution. Place in oven for approximately half an hour- or as long as you can wait, and enjoy! Beware of the hot, molten goo that may spurt out of the end.