The Hushpuppie Experience

Blue Cheese Bacon Wrapped Dates

2010-07-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite appetizer of 2010 hands down, and I have the Happy Hours of the Sunset Strip to thank for the idea. All the bars on the strip are overpriced but there's a little loophole that stingey 20-somethings like me take full advantage of: Happy Hour! Almost all the bars on the strip have half-off Happy Hours, which is the only reason why you would ever catch me throwing caution to the wind with my American Express Aluminum in hand with the few others lucky enough to have their early evenings free. Would I have paid $12 to for 6 bacon wrapped dates? Probably not. And I woulda really missed out. But $6 is just in my budget. So now, Hushpuppie blog reader(s), I can bring this to my home as well as yours.

Recipe:

1 pkg. good bacon
1 dozen dates
1/4 lb. blue cheese

Gently remove pits from dates and pack inside of dates with blue cheese. Tightly wrap each stuffed date with one entire slice of bacon--maybe if you have fancier bacon you can only use half a slice, but FUD brand at my store doesn't pack enough to allow for that. Bake at 375 for about 15-20 minutes or until bacon looks just right. Serve when warm. The dates turn into caramel, and the salt from the cheese and bacon blend to make it a very well-rounded appetizer.

The generic brand of ice cream at my grocery story this summer released Coconut-flavored ice cream. Yeah. They did. And it's as good as it sounds. That's why I sliced up my bacon-wrapped dates and ate them with it. Yeah. I did. And it was as good as it sounds.

Shrimp Brushetta

2010-05-12T17:51:00.001-07:00

I stole this idea from a restaurant/bar in my northeast LA neighborhood, The York--because it's what I get every time I go there--and reproduced it for my family for my dad's and his twin sister's birthdays. The prep time for me was about an hour, but when these snacks were served it took all of 20 seconds before they were completely consumed by each of my family and extended family members. Everyone was asking for more.

Ingredients:

French bread or baguette (sliced)
canola oil
1 lb. shrimp (peeled and deveined)
shrimp/seafood seasoning of your choice
1 bunch/pkg. micro greens or arugula

for Tomato Bruschetta:
3-4 large ripe tomatoes, diced (more if smaller)
1/2-1 small onion, diced
1 clove garlic, diced
3-4 basil leaves, diced
2 tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. balsamic vinegar
black pepper to taste

for White Wine Butter Sauce:
3 tbsp. butter
1 tbsp. flour
1/2 c. white wine
3/4 c. chicken broth

First, prepare the tomato bruschetta: combine diced tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and black pepper in bowl or tupperware and refrigerate. This may be made in advance (or I suppose you could get pre-made bruschetta, but it won't be as good).

Next, prepare toast: preheat oven to 450 degrees, slice toast and arrange onto cookie sheet. Do not place in oven yet.

Then, season and prepare shrimp. I use a seafood seasoning that I created: http://bellavistafoodsnob.blogspot.com/2010/01/erics-cajun-seasoning.html. Also, to spread the measly one pound of shrimp over the whole appetizer I sliced each shrimp down the middle to create two halves. Set aside in fridge.

Now the next ten or so minutes is gonna happen fast and be kind of busy. The more kitchen help you can get the better. Toast bread for about 3-4 minutes and remove to cool slightly. Move on to sauce.

White wine sauce: whisk together 3 tbsp. butter with 1 tbsp. flour in a small saucepan on low-medium heat. Once smooth add 1/2 c. white wine and 3/4 c. broth. Stir until blended and continue to cook on medium heat until begins to bubble, then reduce heat to let thicken.

But wait! While you or someone else in the kitchen stirs the white wine sauce until it bubbles you must cook the shrimp.

Heat a heavy skillet with several tablespoons of canola oil on medium-high heat. Once fully heated toss in shrimp and spread evenly over the skillet. After about one minute (assuming your heat is high enough) flip shrimp with metal spatula. After about one more minute gently flip shrimp again and continue to toss and flip them for another 45 seconds to a minute until shrimp appear to have been cooked thoroughly. Be careful not to overcook them.

Finally, layer greens over toast then bruschetta, then shrimp, then drizzle with wine sauce. Serve immediately.

As you can see mine never made it off the cookie sheet onto plates or a platter. The minute I turned to set down the white wine sauce half the toasts were eaten. And seconds later they were all gone. Yum.

Orange Slice Bars

2010-05-08T11:10:00.001-07:00

Man these orange slice bars are good, and I'd bet if you're not from Texas or a family of diabetics you've never even seen one. Mom posted this recipe on her blog, Bella Vista Food Snob, and I made them recently and took a picture. So good--especially because of all the pecans in it, too. Yum.

http://bellavistafoodsnob.blogspot.com/2009/12/orange-slice-bars.html

Thanks, Ma.

Easy Fish

2010-05-07T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'll have to thank the beautiful Kay Tiller for the following easy fish recipe. A few weeks ago I spent an evening with my Aunt K-K and Uncle Leo, and they served me the best from the Gulf of Mexico (yes, pre-oil spill): wild caught fish with a spicy, creamy tomato Alfredo sauce.

My blog has always been centered around recipes that anybody on any budget with any amount of cooking expertise can whip up and call their own. I think this fish dish represents just that. If you think Rotel and Alfredo sauce sounds like an unusual combination to serve with fish you should now begin to open your mind and free yourself from all of your eccentric food inhibitions then close your eyes for a real winner.

1 can Rotel diced tomatoes and green chilies
1 jar Alfredo sauce
1-2 lbs. filleted white fish (Basa, Tilapia, snapper, catfish, etc)
favorite seafood seasoning
lemon
mixed greens

In a medium-sized saucepan dump Rotel and Alfredo sauce and turn on medium-low heat and cover with lid.

Grill, roast, or pan cook fish.

For grilling: preheat grill to med-low heat, season fish with season and squeeze of lemon season, and sear fish on each side for about 5-6 minutes closing lid in between.

For roasting: coat fish in seasoning and lemon and place on cookie sheet at 450 for 8-10 minutes (less if cooking less quantity of fish).

I pan cooked my fish because I think it is the easiest: heat a heavy frying pan with about 3 tablespoons of canola or vegetable oil (or any other that can get hot enough, i.e. not olive oil) to medium-high heat. Sear seasoned fish on each side for about 2 minutes (if your pan is as hot as it should be).

Remove and squeeze lemon. For each method I would just flake off a piece of fish when you think it might be done to check its progress. You definitely do not want to overcook the fish.

Place fish over a layer of greens or with rice or any other creole tasting side dish of your choice and top with tomato Alfredo sauce and serve. I usually think of fish being paired with white wine, but his would be a good red wine fish meal I think--even if it's from a box.

The Bella Vista Food Snob

2010-05-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hello to all my reader(s). I'll have to apologize for not posting anything recently, but I now have strict competition in the food blog world with the creation of my mom's new food blog. She's only been posting for a couple months now, and she's already got me outnumbered with delicious recipes.

Please check it out. She does a phenomenal job explaining the meals and preparation and has a palate suited for only those who think of themselves as 'food snobs'.

bellavistafoodsnob.blogspot.com

Crunchy Nut Cookies

2009-11-18T00:38:00.000-08:00

This is another one of grandma's recipes. She has a number of cookies with weird fruits, Jell-O products and the like that I have never tried before, but this one I knew would be great--though I'd never had these cookies growing up because like all kids I hated nuts in my food! I grew up, however, started eating vegetables, and thought I could handle a cookie with a crunch. I could almost smell grandma's kitchen when I made these the other night.

1 c. sugar

1 c. brown sugar

1/2 c. Crisco shortening or softened butter (1 stick)

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

3 c. sifted flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

1 c. chopped nuts

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a mixer combine sugars and shortening or butter. Mix thoroughly before adding beaten eggs and vanilla.

Sift flour with soda and salt and then pour into mixer at slow speed--I think the trick with these cookies like others is not to over beat the batter while adding flour; you want the batter light and fluffy but thoroughly combined.

Fold in chopped nuts--I used a combination of almonds, cashews and walnuts, but you can use whatever nuts you'd like. I can only imagine pecans, peanuts or pistachios would be great as well.

Roll dough into balls about walnut size and dip top half in sugar before placing on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until light golden brown.

Crepe a la ghetto

2009-10-08T16:59:00.000-07:00

Some people might be offended by the term 'ghetto' but I think that is ludicrous. After all, I live in the ghetto and I'm not offended. Instead I'm honored. Only in the ghetto do you have the opportunity to find a perfectly intact crepe maker for $4 and just enough in savings to buy it. You gather a number of your other jobless friends, combine resources and are able to eat in class a meal that comes all the way across yonder from France. Bon a petit.

Come to find out, crepes are from France and blintzes are from the Mediterranean. Both are either folded or rolled. I still don't know what I've made, but it all turned out great. Two nights in a row and then a dessert.

I guess your only problem now is to find a crepe maker for yourself. Or you can come to my house at $3.50 a head.

The basic crepe:

1 c. flour
pinch salt
1 1/4 c. milk
2 eggs, beaten
2 Tbsp canola oil

Slowly whisk milk with flour and salt, then add eggs and oil. Pour mixture into a pie plate or similar and heat skillet or crepe maker; dip. My machine has a light on it that times it perfectly--only takes about 20 seconds for each side.

Once the crepes are made you have your choice of fillings for them. When I worked at farmers' market several years ago, there was a crepe booth that loved trading my tortilla chips for a daily lunch crepe, savory. They folded the crepes with some sort of lunch meat, spinach, tomato, mushroom, cheese, and avocado, or basically whatever they had fresh. I did the same, sauteed the mushrooms first and added a tangy white wine sauce to float over it.

Wine sauce:
1 Tbsp butter
2 Tbsp flour
1 c. milk
1/4 c. white wine
salt/pepper/favorite spice

Heat butter and flour over low heat until melted. Slowly whisk in milk then wine and spices. Simmer until thickened.

For DESSERT!!!

Add a little cinnamon or nutmeg to the crepe batter and fill crepes with chopped strawberry, banana, walnuts or pecans, and marscarpone cheese. I didn't have marscarpone so I 'ghetto'-rigged it by mixing some sugar in a container of sour cream and drizzling over the filling. Put in buttered casserole dish (like you would enchiladas) and sprinkle with sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for about 8 minutes. Remove, let cool slightly, and top with Nutella and Cool Whip. That's how I did it at least, and I didn't hear any complaints.

Fricken Chickassee

2009-07-02T17:15:00.000-07:00

There's something about this meal that's both all-American and foreign-tasting. Kind of like the Beef Stroganoff I know we all had at least two nights a week as kids, I think it's one we Americans stole from the Axis powers and pretended like it was our own sometime in the early fifties. Chicken Fricassee was one of my family's counterfeited staples, and it is the only one of the two I still enjoy eating. Even though CF's made with cheap, bone-in chicken, there's something about eating those slimy, spiral egg noodles of Beef Stroganoff that make me think even I'm not poverty-stricken enough to eat that kind of cafeteria food.

5-6 boned but skinless chicken thighs (a leg would do)
2 bunches asparagus
8-10 red potatoes (quarter the larger ones)
1/2 c. flour (plus more to dip the chicken)
1/2 c. oil
4 c. chicken broth
dill
paprika
black pepper

Fill a large bowl or dish with flour, paprika, and black pepper. Then, turn stove to near high heat on a large and heavy stock pot with a little oil in the bottom. Dip both sides of thighs in flour and put in pot to brown thigh for about 1 minute each. Set aside. (I was drinking too much to remember to take a picture here for ya, but I'll get one next time)

With all of the thighs browned and set aside, pour together slowly the oil, flour, and chicken broth into the large and heated stock (My mom uses this jar technique to make to keep the gravy from lumping, but I just beat the whisk to death). Put fresh or dried dill then meat then potatoes into gravy, spooning the gravy over each before putting the lid back on to cook at medium heat for about 40 minutes or more. When the potatoes are almost done, throw in the asparagus, spoon gravy over them, and cook for another 5-7 minutes. Serve with dinner rolls.

This Is It!!!

2009-03-29T15:51:00.000-07:00

This WAS it, but it's gone now. Chocolate pie is another recipe from grandma's cookbook. In it she was always so nice to credit the chef from which she got the recipe, and sometimes had a helpful parenthetical, too. "This is it!!!" is written below the title of Chocolate Pie on page 47, just underneath her recipe for "fresh fruit cheese pie"--Mmmmm, weird. I haven't tried her Coke salad recipe either. The chocolate pie, however, is truly it. One of a kind.

1 pie crust
1-1/2 c. sugar
3 eggs yolks
4 Tbsp. dry cocoa
3 Tbsp. butter
4 Tbsp. flour
2 c. milk
1-1/2 tsp. vanilla

Meringue:
3 egg whites
6 Tbsp. sugar
1/8 tsp. cream of tartar

Bake a single pie crust in a pie plate according to directions on box. This pie, however, is also great in one of those store-bought graham cracker crusts, which doesn't need to be cooked.

Mix sugar, cocoa, flour, yolks (put whites in fridge until using them for meringue), milk, and butter in top of double boiler turned to medium heat--if you don't have a double boiler just cook in thick saucepan at med-low heat. Cook until thick, stirring constantly. Pour custard into pie crust and let cool.

Beat egg whites with mixer on med-high speed, slowly adding in sugar, then cream of tartar. Beat until whites are stiff and peak (a few minutes at least). Spoon or spatula meringue over pie and bake at 350 degrees until the peaks begin to brown. Cool pie again and serve or refrigerate. This is it!

Carne Guisada

2009-03-16T19:41:00.000-07:00

A Texas tail-gating favorite, here it comes!

2 lbs. chuck roast, cubed, or beef stew meat
1 onion, chopped
2 Poblano peppers, sliced
3 cloves garlic
1/2 c. flour
1 can diced tomatoes
1-2 c. beef broth
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. coriander

Brown meat in heavy stock pot until almost all liquid has boiled out--about 20 minutes. Add onions, garlic, and peppers and cook until softened. Stir in flour until evenly coated and quickly add can tomatoes, broth, and seasonings. Should be kind of soupy. Turn heat to low and simmer for another half hour or as long as you can wait so meat will be tender. Serve with flour tortillas.

Pecan Pie

2009-03-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

This recipe is coming at you a little late since I made it last Thanksgiving during our usual feast-for-the-misplaced-youths-of-Los Angeles annual potluck. While it may not seem too difficult--and it's not made with pure cane sugar--it should be noted that "the family" complained bitterly when my grandmother switched from Karo to generic-brand corn syrup. You might wanna cough up the extra 49 cents.

1 pie crust, unbaked**
3 eggs
1 c. Karo (dark or white)
1 c. sugar
1 dash salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 c. pecans (whole or halves)

Beat eggs slightly before mixing with other ingredients. Bake at 325 degrees for about an hour or until filling begins to brown. Cool and serve. Grrreat with vanilla ice cream.

**If you can't find or are to cheap to buy a box of Pillsbury pie crusts from the refrigerated section, follow the following recipe, which makes about three crusts:

3 c. flour
1 c. butter or shortening (Crisco)
1 tsp. salt
Enough ice-cold water to make a stiff dough

Sift salt with flour and put into mixing bowl. Cut shortening into flour and mix until chunks are about the size of a bean. Add a little water at a time, and use as little as possible. Refrigerate before roll out if possible.

Salsa Not Seltzer

2009-03-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

My long days working the assembly line at the salsa factory have paid off, and I'm now able to bring to you the tools needed to make your very own! We made mild, habanero, roasted garlic, and a mango/peach/pineapple salsa that's great with fish all based off the following ingredients:

1/2 onion, cubed
2 cloves garlic (roasted or raw)**
1 hand full cilantro, rinsed
1/2 to whole jalapeno, de-seeded
1 TB. lime juice
1 Tsp. vinegar
1 can Rotel diced tomatoes and green chilies
1 can diced tomatoes
salt/pepper to taste

Pile in blender and pulse motor so as not to puree. Best when refrigerated for a few hours. Keeps for about three weeks.

**If you've got the time and inclination to make a tray of roasted garlic, your tongue and your heart will be happy. Here's how to do it:

Preheat oven to 400. Peel garlic if needed. Mix whole garlic cloves with a little bit of oil, salt, black pepper, oregano and slide onto cookie sheet. Roast until garlic starts to brown but not all the way, maybe twenty minutes.

Bunny Rabbit Delight

2008-09-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the birthday of my favorite American-born eastern Euro friend, Sinziana. Since I didn't have the perfect present picked out, I thought I'd fall back on an old tradition--birthday cake. The pickiest of eaters, she won't eat most things with chocolate, anything with coconut besides Ranger cookies (see recipe), or, odd as it is, cooked ham or anything too "eggy". No German Chocolate, Italian Cream, or really, half the desserts that are among MY favorites. Just before I started to make a plain white cake dyed bright green and blue, I realized there was one flavor I had failed to consider: carrot! What eastern Euro isn't down with carrots?... or cabbage and sausage.

Now everybody's had a bad carrot cake in their life -- most definitely if you've bought the box. So I scoured the internet looking for a recipe that was similar to the best carrot cake I'd ever tried, which, FYI, is from Thunder Cloud Subs in Austin. This is what I came up with, and it was grrrreat!

The cake:

ADD IN ORDER GIVEN ---------
1/3 c Dk. Karo
1 c Sugar
1 c Dk. Brown sugar
4 x Eggs
1 1/2 c Veg. oil
1 ts Cinnamon
1/4 ts Cloves
1/4 ts Ginger
1/4 ts Nutmeg
3 c Raw carrots, grated fine
1 ts Vanilla
2 1/4 c Sifted flour
2 ts Baking soda
3/4 ts Salt
1 c Walnuts or Pecans, chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line the bottom of three 8-inch cake pans with parchment, wax, or brown-bag paper: grease and flour.

Beat sugar, eggs, karo, and oil until light and fluffy: about 15 minutes on medium speed-- I grated the carrots during this. Add rest of ingredients in order given, sifting the soda and salt with the flour and mixing gently after sifted mixture is added. Pour into cake pans and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until cake is done in the middle via toothpick test or poking the top to see if the cake bounces back a little.

Immediately remove and place upside down on wire racks to let cool.

Super Fatty Cream Cheese Icing:

1 box powdered sugar
1 bar cream cheese (at room temp)
1 stick butter (at room temp)
1 TB. vanilla

Beat cream cheese until smooth and add slowly the box of powdered sugar. Add vanilla, then butter. Taste-test as much as desired.

Whew! Not so bad. No just stack the cakes on a serving plate with icing in between layers. Ice the rest and serve or decorate.

Easy Cobbler

2008-05-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been a little bit lazy lately. And since I sought a homemade, warm, and sweet something that didn't involve too much effort or finance--and that juxtaposed well with the 3/4-eaten, gallon (yes, gallon) bucket of vanilla ice cream icing over in my freezer--I fell back on this old and uncomplicated classic. Peaches*, apples, pears, or whatever fruit you have that doesn't have too many flies coming from it, this is guaranteed to please.

*Soft fruits like peaches don't need to be cooked on the stove before adding with cobbler batter.

Preheat oven to 350. Peel and slice into wedges 8 small or 6 large apples of your choice (or convenience). Heat at medium a medium-sized but heavy saucepan with a half stick of butter and the peeled/wedged apples and 1 cup chopped walnuts. Sprinkle with cinnamon and almost a cup sugar. Cook until slightly softened--ten minutes probably.

In a separate mixing bowl, stir the following ingredients until smooth:
1 cup sugar
1 cup flour
1 cup milk
1 tsp. baking powder

Rub butter along sides and bottom of a large glass dish and dump in the slightly cooked apples (or fresh peaches). Pour batter over all the apples and shake a little more cinnamon and sugar on top of it. Bake in oven for about 35 minutes or until top is turning golden brown. Serve with ice cream.

Stuffed Loin

2008-03-01T16:32:00.000-08:00

This dish tastes a lot more appealing than it looks in prep. As long as you can get passed the growing expense of a prime red--or find a bargain--you'll be glad you took the 4 minutes to make it and more so when you devour it.

1 (12 oz.) beef tenderloin or beef loin roast
4 oz. goat cheese
3/4 c. packed fresh spinach
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
2 Tbsp. crushed black pepper

Cut a slit along the tenderloin to form a pocket. In a separate bowl, combine goat cheese, spinach, garlic, salt and pepper and mix well. Spoon the goat cheese mixture into the pocket. Use kitchen twine (or toothpicks) to close the fold, and place in a glass baking dish with a little bit of olive oil. Pat crushed pepper on meat.

Roast at 425 degrees for 15 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 325 and roast for 45 minutes longer. Cut into thick slices and serve.

Carni Grub

2008-01-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at a thrift store, I found a brand new Fry Daddy for $7--they retail for about $40. Since last night I had dinner plans with some health nuts, I thought I'd ruin their light meal with a dessert that you often only consume just after you weeze the juice of a glowing green slushy and right before you ride the Tilt-A-Whirl and puke it all up. You don't really need a special frying machine to accomplish this task (nor a funnel as you will see), but it helps prevent the grease-splooge mess all over your counter top.

Dry mixture:
1 2/3 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cream of tartar
2 Tbsp. sugar

Since I was taking this meal on the road--like it's accustomed to--I stored the dry mixture in a gallon-size ziploc bag, then used the bag as the funnel for the batter by cutting a whole in the corner.

Combine the following with dry mixture and pour in funnel or bag with centimeter hole.

1 c. milk
1 egg (beaten with milk)

Now for the fryin'! In a Fry Daddy, iron skillet, or other thick sauce pan, heat about 1 or 1-1/2 canola oil to 375 degrees. If you're just using a skillet, test to see if the oil is ready by flicking some water drops in it to see if it sizzles.

Hold ziploc like a pastry bag and evenly drop about a half a cup of the mixture in a spiral-like pattern into sizzling oil. Shortly thereafter, use a pair of tongs or spatula to flip the cake and cook the other side--it doesn't take long to cook. Remove from oil and set on plate with paper towl.

Serve with fresh fruit (or fruit-flavored ice cream) or chocolate or whatever you want, with some sifted powdered sugar atop it. Even though you didn't just dismount from the Gravitron, you may still feel like the room is spinning. Grow a beard, grab a flask and a crack pipe; disown your deodorant and swim in the port-a-potty. Join the carnies and eat a funnel cake.

East Meets East LA

2008-01-25T17:27:00.000-08:00

Now that my apartment is completely sans-Asian, I finally have the gall to attempt a dinner of that persuasion. My new Romanian roommate, Sinziana, donated a bag of rice noodles to the cabinet--so we made a vermicelli bowl. I definitely don't have all those weird oils and pastes that are typically added into Asian food, so I cut some corners. No jokes about this one: it's great.

Begin dish with bringing a large pot of water to boil on stove; prepare a large bowl of iced water next to it, and a colander not far from there. To blanch the vegetables, drop them in the boiling water; remove them when water begins to boil again; drop in iced water bowl, then drain. On a flat or iron skillet at a medium/low heat, cook about a half pound of medium shrimp and about a half pound of steak meat--I bought mine cut-up already--season with salt and lemon pepper.

Then blanch the following:
1 bunch asparagus (cut into 2-3-inch pieces)
3 small carrots (cut or grated into strips)
1 pkg or bunch bean sprouts.
1 large package rice vermicelli noodles

Drain well, then pile into a large bowl--add cooked shrimp and steak once cooled slightly. Add fish sauce.

Bring to boil 1 cup water, 4 Tbsp. rice vinegar, 4 Tbsp. sugar. Let cool, then add: 1 Tbsp. chopped garlic, 1 squirt hot sauce or 1 small chili pepper (chopped), and 5 Tbsp. fish sauce.

Garnish bowls with fresh cilantro, crunched peanuts, and peanut sauce: mix the following in small bowl or 2-cup measuring cup.

1/2 c. peanut butter (your choice on texture)
1 tsp. sugar
4 tsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. chopped garlic
Juice from a lemon
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1/2 c. water

Mix with a fork and serve over vermicelli bowls--add water if sauce is too thin. Great with egg rolls, too!

Hey Hey, Boo-Boo!!

2008-01-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

Don't ask me why these cookies are called Ranger cookies, but it always makes me think of watching, as a child, either Yogi Bear or this cartoon movie called The Ranger of Brownstone that was dubbed onto a family vhs along with some other 80's kids movies--my favorite genre. Oatmeal, cornflakes, AND coconut??-- what a deal. Best damn cookie out there.

Mix together:
1 stick butter, softened (or Crisco)
1 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla

Sift together and stir into wet mix:
2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt

Finally, add:
2 c. oatmeal
2 c. corn flakes
1 c. coconut

Bake at 350 degrees until golden brown. Best if a little undercooked--they'll be softer.

Whoa---time warp! Do not feed the bears.

Jellystoned?

Oooh fuuudge!

2007-12-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

"Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!"

That's right--it's Christmas time. Even though we all want to be Scrooge's and sit around bitching about gift buying and family visiting, you know we'll just sit by a warm fire on one of our many vacation days off and watch, yet again, one of the million, late-night-insomniac showings of "A Christmas Story" while eating one of many various seasonal treats like the following. That's what Christmas is really all about; it's a time for relishing in prosaic memories and pastimes with Ralphie or Rudolph. Fudge! the holidays--rejoice its desserts.

The recipe:

5 c. sugar
1 1/3 sticks butter
1 can milk
---------
1 1/2 pkgs. semi-sweet chocolate chips
2-3 c. pecans
1 jar marshmallow cream
1 tsp. vanilla

In a large and heavy sauce pan, stir sugar, butter, and milk on med, med-high heat with a metal spoon--stir constantly. Once the liquid begins to bubble, set a timer and continue to boil/stir for 8 minutes exactly (you don't want it to be turning brown). Immediately, turn off the burner and stir in marshmallow cream and vanilla. Once melted, stir in chocolate chips then pecans. Pour into buttered glass casserole dishes (either 9X13 or two smaller ones). Let cool completely, cut into 1 1/2-inch squares, then refrigerate.

Queso Camarones

2007-12-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

Oooo... it's getting cold out there--even in sunny LA. Why don't you warm yourself up with a bowl of this Southern/Cajun treat? It's no salad or rice cakes, in terms of 2000/cal/day diet. But you'll sleep well and fill out those jeans that were getting loose.

In a thick, large stock pot, saute on about 2 cups of sliced mushrooms, 1 sliced green pepper, 1 c. chopped celery, and 1/2 c. chopped green onions in a few tablespoons of butter until they're all a little soft.

Toss in about 1.5 pounds of peeled/deveined shrimp and season with salt, pepper, garlic, seasoned salt, and some kind of cajun seasoning--you should have one by now. Cook until shrimp is almost done.

Turn heat to low and add 1 can cream of mushroom soup, 1 can Rotel (diced tomatoes/green chilies), 1 can milk, and about a half block (8-12 oz.) of Velveeta (aka plastic). Stir until cheese is melted.

Serve over white rice.

Blonde Brownie

2007-12-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

It's like a giant chocolate chip cookie but better. I took these to school one year in elementary school as birthday treats for the class. I saved a corner for my teacher who didn't eat with us and had to hang onto it all through recess, but I needed to kiss that ass. By the end of recess, it looked like somebody took a dump in a ziploc. So I made a friend try to give it to the teacher, but she refused. She obviously didn't know how great it was... bitch.

The recipe:

1 c. butter (soft)
1 c. brown sugar
1 c. white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix well, then add:
2 c. + 4 Tbsp. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. soda
1 c. pecans (optional)
12 oz. pkg. semi-sweet chocolate chips

Bake at 350 in 9X13 pan for 30 minutes.

Make Your Own Damn Pizza!

2007-12-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna hide the fact that the Little Caesar's down the road from my pad has the deal of a lifetime: 1 medium cheese/pepperoni pizza and 1 pkg of Crazy bread for $6.25. The problem with this bargain is that after you've had 3/4 of the pizza and the entire batch of breadsticks, you feel less like a content connoisseur and more like a penniless savage that's waiting for seconds in the Thanksgiving Soup line near Skid Row - probably with an equivocal amount of nausea and dizziness. Fuck all that-- Make your own damn pizza!

Head to the market and get a bag of pizza dough. Most places have them; you just have to look. If not, check out the worldwide internet for a recipe. Roll it out with maybe an empty wine bottle. Then, you gotta do the pizza-toss thing that they do in an actual pizzaria - it's the only way to get the pizza crust thin enough. Lay it on a cookie sheet, and then spread a THIN layer of pizza/marinara sauce. Cut up white mushrooms in slices and toss with olive oil balsamic vinegar sauteed on medium until they're soft. Optional sausage to be added in here.

Grab a house slave or dinner guest and have them grate an entire block of mozzarella, and spread it atop the pie.

Slice fresh basil and tomatoes and layer atop cheese. Season with garlic powder (if you have it), salt, pepper, Greek seasoning or something Italian-y.

Pop in the oven until the cheese is bubbly and turning golden brown. Use the temperature setting designated to your specific pizza dough - I think it's 400. Enjoy - F Little Caesar's.

UPDATE: Divide the pizza dough into three parts and roll to make pizza rolls!

Healthy in the Holidays: Roasted Veg and Chicken

2007-11-24T12:59:00.000-08:00

I know you're all trying to skip the sides and kick the carbs in between holiday face-stuffings, so here's medley that'll temporarily abate your plate from unhealthy fixings.

Those little tiny squash might be hard to find; and you may want to swap the chicken for beef or some tofu product-- but the carrots are good for night vision, so hang on to 'em. Chunk everything so it's about the same size and scatter into a glass casserole dish. Drench with olive oil, salt, pepper, seasoned salt, and maybe some type of special sauce: I used Soy Vay (this Jewish-made teriyaki), but you can do like a Worchestershire combo or wine/balsamic vinegar. Roast in the oven at 400 for about 45 minutes or so (or until the chicken's done in the middle). Skip the rolls, rice, noodles and potatoes 'cause you'll have plenty around Xmas.

I used: chicken, broccoli, carrots, rosemary, olives, garlic, mushrooms, and baby zucchini/sqaush.

Not Zucchini Bread

2007-10-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

I made some pumpkin bread for my new neighbors-- one of them with a questionable gender-- to welcome them to the house, have a leg-up on karma, and basically let them know that we're cool and all. It's something I hadn't done with the other tenants in our 4-plex, and I'm tired of ducking behind the curtains any time one of them walks by. We wrote a little note that said something like "welcome to the house. here's some pumpkin bread - best with butter." Even though it's super cheezy idea altogether, they loved it and thanked us twice for the zucchini bread. Despite the fact that they can't read, I feel a little better about our awkward coexistence.

Recipe yields two loaves:

3 c. flour, sifted
1 tsp. salt
2 c. sugar
2 tsp. soda
2 c. pumpkin (or 1 can)
1 c. oil
4 eggs, beaten
1/2 c. water
3 tsp. pumpkin pie spice (or 1 each of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice.)
1 c. walnuts (optional)

Mix dry ingredients in large bowl forming a well in the middle. Then stir in eggs, water, oil, then pumpkin. Divide batter between two greased/floured bread pans and bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes.

Though I used the can this time, it's only about an extra three hours in prep time if you want to carve the pumpkins, toast the seeds, and use baked pumpkin meat instead of the can. Toss the cleaned seeds with seasoned salt, garlic powder, tabasco, and worcestershire sauce and bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes. Something like that.

White Corn/Blackbean Salsa

2007-09-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

Finally something on the lighter end of the spectrum. This healthy throw-together is great to eat with chips, serve on tacos, or shovel as salad. It yields an endless bowl.

The ingredients:

Roughly 1/4 c. chopped green onions
About the same amount or more of chopped cilantro
2-3 cloves chopped garlic
juice from 1 lime
1 chopped jalapeno
2 cans white (shoepeg) corn, drained
2 cans black beans (drained and rinsed)
1 can Rotel diced tomatoes
1 small can green chilies
Salt, pepper, seasoned salt

Combine together with a fork. Best tasting after it's been chilled.

The Thing w/Coconut

2007-09-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Everyone's got their own versions of brownies and bars. This thing is kind of a compilation of many of those variations with, as always, budget and mobile motivation in mind. I just so happened to have some almonds and coconut - so that's what you get. This recipe, specifically, is also a variation of some chess cake that's in my grandmother's cookbook - just with a larger pan. Either way, it's a good, quick fix. Make it how you like it.

The recipe:

1 box yellow cake mix
1 stick softened butter
1 beaten egg
1 8oz. bar softened cream cheese
1 tsp. vanilla or lemon extract
1 lb. box powdered sugar
3 eggs

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottom of large jelly roll pan (or cookie sheet with at least 1-inch sides on it). In one bowl, combine cake mix, butter, and beaten egg. After blending with fork or hands, press evenly into pan building the dough about an inch on sides of pan; be patient.

In another bowl, combine cream cheese, vanilla or lemon flavor, powdered sugar and three eggs. This is where you can throw in a slew of pantry extras like coconut and sliced almonds like I did.

Pour into pan over the crust and spread evenly. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Lower the heat to 325 and bake for an additional 30 minutes or until top becomes golden.

Note how quickly they vanish.

Mexican Cornbread

2007-09-16T15:35:00.000-07:00

Man, how often do you pick up a box of Jiffy Cornbread Mix? Let me tell you --- not often enough! If you did, you'd realize that this 59 cent purchase could take you to places you've never been - places reminiscent of grandma's kitchen or perhaps San Antonio, Tx. That's right, we're having Tex-Mex again.

The best part about this dish, though, is that it essentially covers most of the food pyramid in one pie slice. Chomp on some field greens and you're set for the night. Likewise, cut more scanty slices, and it's an all-in-one appetizer that no one else would ever imagine bringing to the party. Oddly great for breakfast and loves to sit in the fridge for a while. Best $8 spent this month.

Mexican Cornbread:

1 lb. ground beef
1 pkg. Taco mix
1 box cornbread mix
1 c. cheddar cheese, grated
1 jalapeno
1 onion, chopped
1 can cream style corn

In a heavy skillet, cook onion and meat together until onion is soft and meat is brown. Add taco mix and jalapeno. Set aside. In small bowl, mix cornbread mix according to directions on box, adding in the can of corn. Grease the sides of an 8X8 pan with a little oil. Pour half of the cornbread mix, then layer the meat. Cover with grated cheese and add the remaining cornbread mix. Bake at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes.

Peanut Butter Pizza

2007-08-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

Typical munchy ingredients have never tasted better than in the following PTA-mom classic. In fact, it was in the fourth grade that I last tasted this treat. My mom had volunteered to conduct some sort of mind-numbing dessert luncheon to celebrate the success of a likewise mind-numbing, mass-student, elementary accomplishment. Though it's one of the easiest desserts to make, the blockhead moms of my classmates managed to come up with a number of sub-par variations. If you screw this one up, consider yourself doomed.

The recipe:

1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. softened butter
1/2 c. peanut butter
1 pkg. chocolate chips
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg
1 1/2 c. flour
2 c. miniature marshmallows

In large bowl, combine sugar, brown sugar, butter, peanut butter, vanilla and egg. Blend well, then stir in flour. Hand-press dough onto large cookie sheet or pizza pan, forming a rim along the edge.

Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with marshmallows, and chocolate chips. Continue baking for 5 to 8 minutes or until marshmallows are lightly brown. Cool and cut into wedges and serve. I obviously don't have a pizza pan.

Smoke Da Okra

2007-07-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

In the deep and dirty South, okra is kind of a staple delicacy. Every KFC and fried food hashery has some form or another - usually fried and served with ketchup or gravy. This was the first time I tried what I've been told is the best way to eat them this summer.

Rinse the okra in a colander and sprinkle with olive oil, seasoned salt, fresh black pepper, and about a tablespoon of finely chopped garlic. Toss it all together and stack side by side onto skewers on grill for just a few minutes on each side.

Pork on the grill is kind of self-explanatory. Dust it with your best seasonings and no sauce - I use a combination of dry poultry rub and beef rub because pork seems to be somewhere in the middle. Marinades and sauces cause unnecessary char and the grill to become ablaze, at least from my personal experiences.

Another trick to getting tender pork by getting the grill really hot. Sear both sides of the meat while the grill is scalding, turn it down and add the skewers of okra cooking an additional 10 minutes or so, all together, turning skewers and meat only once.

To finish a well-rounded and healthy meal, I added a can of Rotel (diced tomatoes and green chilies) to the complimentary amount of water needed for preparation with two small yellow rice packages. See below for Raspberry Chipotle Sauce recipe.

Just down the street from my house is Super King - a giant, Armenian-run grocery store that has a surplus of fresh produce and deli options at phenomenally low prices. For instance, this entire meal cost $14 and provided plenty - 4 chops, 4 ribs, 6 skewers, rice, and the following recipe. Besides the constant mobs of irate Armenians, this market (that also sells Hookahs) has a drawback in comparison to your local Ralph's or Von's: no ready-made, USA-label, packaged and prepared foods like Campbell's soup, Easy-Mac, or any kind of raspberry chipotle sauce. So I made my own.

Raspberry Walnut Chipotle Sauce:

In a small chopper, add 1/2 small white onion, 1 clove of garlic, 2 small chipotle or like peppers, and 1/4 c. walnuts, and chop. If you don't have one, they're pretty easy to find at a thrift store and worth the $3 for saving man power and your hand muscles. If not, grab a knife.

Toss chopped goods in a small but thick saucepan with about a tablespoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper and cook on medium-high heat until onions are caramelized. Add one pint of raspberries and cook until soft - about 3 minutes. Then, add 2 Tbsp. vinegar, 1/4 c. sugar, and a scoop of apricot preserves (optional - because I had it).

Turn heat to a low simmer and cook down for about 10 more minutes. Let cool before serving. Also great to serve with cream cheese and crackers or with other meats. Keep refrigerated.

Strawberry Jello Bundt Cake: Fill the hole with goodness

2007-07-19T10:08:00.001-07:00

I've requested this next cake as my birthday cake each year since about age 11. My mom always had no problem with this because, contrary to my brother's request of German Chocolate cake, it was cheap and easy to make - homogeneous to my blog. A twist on an old favorite, this cake packs the punch you can only expect when it includes a box of jello, a box of powdered sugar, a stick of butter, and a cup of oil. Get ready to unbutton your pants! - 'cause you're gonna need the room.

The cake:
1 box white cake mix
3 Tbsp. flour
1 sm. pkg. strawberry jello (dissolved in 1/2 c. water)
4 eggs
1 c. vegetable oil
1/2 pkg. frozen strawberries, thawed

Mix ingredients with mixer adding strawberries last. Bake in greased and floured cake at 350 degrees for amount of time on cake box (depending on the shape/size of pan(s) you use), or until toothpick comes up clean. Let cool then use mixer to make and top with icing.

The icing:

1 stick butter
1 pkg. powdered sugar
1/2 pkg. frozen strawberries, thawed

As you cut the cake, you will see the icing gush from the warm center. Spread freely according to taste.

Chip Crumb Casserole

2007-07-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I find myself with several virtually empty, crumb-filled bags of tortilla chips -- too lazy to have thrown them out because they have a shelf life of about a year. There's really only two things I can imagine doing with these extras: add them in an egg scramble for Mexican Migas, or throw them in this following Tex-Mex casserole conglomerate.

Casserole:
1 cooked chicken
1 small package Spanish rice
1 can black beans
1 small can black olives
1 pint sour cream
1/2 c. grated cheese
Corn tortilla chip crumbs
fresh red or green salsa
salt/pepper and other seasonings

Cook rice on stove (about 20 minutes); shred meat off entire carcass of chicken, preheat oven to 350. When ready, butter sides and bottom of casserole dish and layer chip crumbs, black beans, some salsa, and shredded chicken. Season with salt, pepper, and seasoned salt. Then add cooked Spanish rice, cannabutter (optional), sour cream, more chip crumbs, then finally olives and grated cheese. Pop in preheated oven for about 20 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Update -- the following day I had a few visitors and whipped up these nachos with the leftover ingredients of the casserole (I had some full-sized chips as well).

Fancy Joes

2007-07-16T00:57:00.000-07:00

Remember growing up in the 80's when your parents had less money and would get tired of dealing with you/your sibling's tantrums so they would combine with another like family to form an economical super group of chaos and calamity? The parents would play some sort of adult card game and drink from gallons of wine, and the kids would catch fireflies and then regroup in the den to watch the non-cartoon, 80's version of Alice in Wonderland with Ringo Starr and Sammie Davis Jr. in full costume and make-up. Well, our night always involved Sloppy Joes. Why not? -- It's extremely cheap to make in large quantities, it lasts for days, and there is virtually no way to screw it up. Here's my mildly fancier take on them.

1 yellow onion
1 green pepper
2-3 cloves raw garlic
olive oil, salt/pepper
2 lbs. lean ground beef
3 Tbsp. mustard
1 1/4 c. catsup/bbq sauce combo
cumin

hamburger buns
cabbage
cheese/pickles (optional)

Chop yellow onion, green pepper, and a few cloves of garlic; throw them in a heavy metal pan with some olive oil, salt, pepper, and then turn onto medium heat. Let these stew a bit until they're a little soft.

Add lean ground beef; lightly brown all sides. Add in: mustard, ketchup/barbeque sauce combo (choose your own proportions), more salt and pepper, cumin (if you have it), and any other seasonings that sound good with beef.

Simmer meat mess on stove for about a half hour or as long as you can wait. On a toasted hamburger bun, stack meat glop with shredded cabbage, cheddar cheese, and dill pickles. Serve with the largest glass of iced Coca Cola and watch Ringo sing and dance.

Carol Channing gave me nightmares with this bloodcurdling transformation to a goat. "Better... much beeeettteeerrr...."

4 Rotten Bananas

2007-07-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

What on Earth can you do with rotten bananas that are crawling with brown spots and reeking of ripeness? If you find yourself in this troubling situation, as I do often, throw them in the freezer until you've got enough (4) to whip together this awesome banana bread -- really, it's more like a cake, but that's just how we roll in the South.

The bread:

1 c. butter
1 1/2c. sugar
2 eggs beaten
4 ripe bananas (thawed, if previously frozen)
1 tsp. vanilla
4 Tbsp. buttermilk

Sift together and add to above mixture:
2 c. flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt

Mix ingredients with mixer. Pour bread batter into two greased/floured bread pans and bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes or until toothpick test comes up clear. Let cool slightly before adding glaze. Heat oven to a broil.

The glaze:

6 Tbsp. butter
2/3 c. brown sugar
5 Tbsp. milk
1/2 c. pecans/walnuts (optional)

Melt butter, brown sugar, and milk in small saucepan on stove at med-high heat; bring to slow boil stirring constantly, until mixture becomes thicker and caramelized. Stir in optional nuts and pour over breads. Pop back into broiling oven and watch until glaze begins to bubble. Cool and serve. Wrap uncut bread in plastic wrap to retain moisture.

A Feast for the Fourth, Party of Two.

2007-07-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

My only expectation of this past Independence Day was not unlike that of any other holiday or organized event- that it be centered around some grandiose feast such as that as you see above. The advantage of grilling on this day, and others alike, is that after all the hours of prep work, you can simply throw all of it on at the same time, light a cigarette and pour a drink, and sit by as the grill becomes engulfed in smoke because the cheese is melting through the grate. In the end, it yields a number of toasted and tasty treats in seemingly endless portions.

Bacon-Wrapped Shrimpers:

On a half a piece of pork bacon, stack one large or two medium fresh and raw shrimp (approx 2 lbs. total) and a generous slice of both fresh mozzarella and jalapeno. Roll and fasten with a toothpick. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Beef Rolladen:
Use thin cuts of beef to roll a dill pickle spear, long slice of red bell pepper, and about a tablespoon of finely chopped purple onion. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Corn and Asparagus:

Pull back husks of corn and remove silk - baste with butter and pinch of salt. Fold husks back over corn. Wash and cut ends from bundle of asparagus; wrap in aluminum foil with several cloves of garlic, coat with olive oil, and season with salt, pepper, and seasoned salt. Seal foil before putting on grill.

Thanks to Brittany for a day of many accomplishments - including a hike to the top of this hill in search of fireworks... for the second time that night. For dessert, we stuffed our faces with a strawberry shortcake combo we threw together with a pound cake from the store, fresh strawberries, and Cool Whip.

The Perfect Snickerdoodle

2007-07-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

Surprise, surprise - I made something else that didn't involve leaving the house to retrieve additional ingredients - an abiding trend. Another direct descent from grandma's archives, these snickerdoodles boast the inherent satisfaction that one could only expect from something so simple and timeless. This recipe yields a shit ton of cookies but, as you can easily see, they go fast.

Mix:
1 c. shortening (Crisco)
1-1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs

Sift and stir in:
2-3/4 c. flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt

Roll into walnut-sized balls and then in cinnamon and sugar, and then place on greased cookie sheet. Use index and middle finger to indent balls of dough pressing down slightly.

Bake at 350 degrees for typical cookie length of time - maybe 12 minutes or so. They key with these is to somewhat under-cook them so they remain chewy even after they have cooled.

M-F'in Hushpuppies

2007-07-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

This meal started on Sunday night but was interrupted by the harsh, day-in-the-sun, drunken comedown that hit so many people that evening. Luckily I had prepared all of the fixings just before I passed out on the cold wood floor of my apartment - you'll notice I forgot to take prep pictures. Success came the following day. Fried red snapper and green beans joined the mix.

Hushpuppies:

1-1/2 c. fine cornmeal
1-1/2 c. water

Cook 1-2 minutes in saucepan until mushy.
Stir in:
2 eggs
1 onion (chopped)
1/3 c. water

In separate bowl, combine:
1 c. flour
3 tsp. baking powder
3 tsp. salt
1/4 c. sugar
1 can corn
1 jalapeno (chopped)

Combine two mixtures and stir thoroughly before dropping spoonfuls of dough into blistering hot grease.

Fish and Green beans:
Rinse and pat dry two pounds of red snapper or other frying fish. In small bowl, combine one egg and about 1 cup milk. In another, mix equal amounts of bread crumbs and cornmeal; add salt and pepper and other spices. Plunge fish into egg/milk mixture then cover in batter. Deep fry on high for about 2 minutes on each side. Serve with lemon or lime.

Green beans?-- should be easy, but I like to add a couple cubes of chicken bullion to a large pot of water with about 2 lbs grean beans. Cook on med-high for about a half hour or until desired consistency.

DeDe's Nana Pudding

2007-07-03T11:11:00.001-07:00

Though I won't be freezing mine one week in advance like she would be doing, my grandmother's banana pudding recipe is the best in the South and another inexpensive, delectable dessert.

The recipe:

5 Tb. flour
3 egg yolks
1-1/2 c. sugar
2 c. milk
lump butter
1 t. vanilla
Box Vanilla wafers or coconut macaroons
Bananas

Beat egg yolks; add small amount of milk, sugar, and flour till smooth; then add rest of milk. Bring to slow boil over medium heat stirring constantly until thick and almost boiling. Turn off burner and add butter and vanilla. In a large baking dish, rub butter along bottom and sides then layer cookies, bananas, then pudding. Repeat and let cool somewhat.

Meringue:
3 egg whites
6 Tb. sugar
Pinch of cream of tartar

Beat egg whites until foamy then add sugar and eventually cream of tartar. Use meringue to cover pudding and bake at 350 until meringue is golden brown, approx. 10 minutes. Serve warm or refrigerate. This dessert always receives the response you're looking for-- just ask these ladies.

Spinach Enchiladas: Leftovers into Leftovers

2007-07-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

A few days after the success of "midget muff" night (hope you get that joke by now), I noticed the leftover 93 of 100 corn tortillas on my counter eagerly waiting to be swarmed with dingy white/green fuzzy spots. Along with a wilting head of spinach and sprouting garlic, I thought up this next one then headed to my local supermercado.

Grate a block of Mexican white cheese- set aside. Shred the meat off an entire Mama hen and toss into mixing bowl. On stove, simmer chopped garlic and onions in small amount of olive oil eventually adding rinsed and cut spinach- set aside. Stir with chicken about a third of a pint of Sour Cream and half a pint fresh green salsa- add salt, pepper, and whatever other seasonings tickle your fancy.

Toss in vegetables from stove into chicken bowl, along with a handful of the grated cheese. Stir thoroughly until semi-creamy. Mix remaining sour cream and salsa and fill into pie plate or something similar. Dip both sides of corn tortillas in pie plate then fill tortilla with chicken filling and some cheese. Roll it into a stiff one, and line the bottom of a greased glass baking dish with rest of 14 to 18 enchiladas. Scoop the rest of the sour cream mixture and cheese atop casserole and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes or until cheese is bubbly.

This is best eaten like all other casseroles- straight from the dish before it goes into the fridge with a lone fork and is eaten one bite at a time over the course of a few days by a variety of migrants and beatniks. Serve with fresh red salsa.

Cream Puff Puff Pass

2007-06-27T14:03:00.001-07:00

Cream puffs are made from scratch with ingredients that you should always have in the cabinet, along with fresh fruit. The key with this recipe, and baking in general, is that you should always follow the recipe measurements precisely... or else you'll fuck it up. Nonetheless, it's always more than edible and usually the best answer to any sweet tooth or stoner high.

The Puff part:

1 stick butter
1 c. water
Bring to boil. Take off stove and add 1 c. flour. Mix well. Add 4 eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Using a large serving spoon, place round balls on ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 45 minutes. Let cool. Cut off tops and take out excess doughy part in the middle.

The Creamy part:

1 c. sugar
1/2 c. sifted flour*
2 c. milk
3 egg yolks

In double boiler (or thick saucepan on lower heat), put sugar, flour and enough milk to make paste. Stir in egg yolks. Add rest of milk. Cook till it thickens, stirring constantly. Add 2 TB. butter and 1 Tsp. vanilla. Turn fire off and keep beating by hand. Add optional 1 c. coconut and keep stirring until it gets to the right consistency. Fill puffs with cream and choice of berry, place top on, and then sift powdered sugar over top. Garnish with more fruit.

*If making chocolate, sift 1/2 c. cocoa with the flour and omit coconut.

The Midget Muff: the shrimp taco

2007-06-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

The shrimp taco, a So-Cal creation, can be found on almost any piled, east-side street corner of Los Angeles- usually near an obscenely bright-colored stucco wall or in a sweaty white van parked near the local drugstore. But who says you can't whip these bad boys up in the comfort and cleanliness of your own home? Best made with fresh shrimp, this easily health-conscious tradition involves a significant amount of prep time but spares the questionable contents in other rivaling tacos.

Peeling shrimp (2lbs.) is a pain in the ass, but once again, this is the key to great tacos. I like to pawn this job off on friends I haven't seen in a while so they are reminded of my expectations of them as a guest at the table- and give everyone else a break. Use a sharp serrated knife to slice open back of shrimp. Use thumbs to split skin and pull down; pinch tail and pull remaining skin. Rinse thoroughly and de-poo.

Add into pan an ample amount of finely chopped jalapeno and garlic in a full bed of olive oil. Turn the burner on med-high. Also, use a pan that can get really hot, like an iron skillet, so that it can sear the shrimp quickly causing them to burst in your mouth. This job ain't for babies neither.

Dice plenty of cilantro, tomatoes, and green cabbage (cut against grain for long, thin strips). Set aside as toppings for taco.

When the garlic and jalapenos are sizzling, cautiously dump in the raw shrimp and season with anything you have that sounds good- but at least salt, pepper, cayenne, cajun seasoning. Sear shrimp on both sides as best you can, then reduce heat and cook for another 4-6 minutes until done. Turn off burner and add about 1/4 c. heavy cream and a tablespoon or so of the chopped cilantro. Heat the corn tortillas on a lone burner and stack taco fixings (shrimp, then cabbage, then cilantro and salsa). Squeeze lime over prepared taco. Serves 3-5 depending on size of appetite.

The Oozing Banana

2007-06-27T10:18:00.001-07:00

More than just the single ladies out there should have a banana in their house. After all, banana's are America's #1 fruit, and the average American consumes more than 28 pounds of this phallic fruit each yeah. The following recipe can be created with as few ingredients as pictured above but can, like most last-minute munchies, be manipulated to fit anyone's pantry or budget. Serving size is one banana.

1 large ripe banana
1 flour tortilla
2 Tb. brown sugar
2 Tb. butter
1 bar chocolate
2 Tb. white sugar
1 Tsp. cinnamon
1/4 c. chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread butter or Crisco on one side of an eager tortilla. On a greased metal baking sheet, line up broken chunks of chocolate down center of ungreased side of tortilla and lay banana immediately atop. Evenly sprinkle brown sugar and dollops of butter alongside banana and chocolate. Tightly roll the tortilla around banana and place on sheet so chocolate sits atop banana while cooking. Sprinkle white sugar, cinnamon, and walnuts over wrapped banana and make an attempt at an even distribution. Place in oven for approximately half an hour- or as long as you can wait, and enjoy! Beware of the hot, molten goo that may spurt out of the end.