Carni Grub

Yesterday at a thrift store, I found a brand new Fry Daddy for $7--they retail for about $40. Since last night I had dinner plans with some health nuts, I thought I'd ruin their light meal with a dessert that you often only consume just after you weeze the juice of a glowing green slushy and right before you ride the Tilt-A-Whirl and puke it all up. You don't really need a special frying machine to accomplish this task (nor a funnel as you will see), but it helps prevent the grease-splooge mess all over your counter top.

Dry mixture:
1 2/3 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cream of tartar
2 Tbsp. sugar

Since I was taking this meal on the road--like it's accustomed to--I stored the dry mixture in a gallon-size ziploc bag, then used the bag as the funnel for the batter by cutting a whole in the corner.

Combine the following with dry mixture and pour in funnel or bag with centimeter hole.

1 c. milk
1 egg (beaten with milk)

Now for the fryin'! In a Fry Daddy, iron skillet, or other thick sauce pan, heat about 1 or 1-1/2 canola oil to 375 degrees. If you're just using a skillet, test to see if the oil is ready by flicking some water drops in it to see if it sizzles.


Hold ziploc like a pastry bag and evenly drop about a half a cup of the mixture in a spiral-like pattern into sizzling oil. Shortly thereafter, use a pair of tongs or spatula to flip the cake and cook the other side--it doesn't take long to cook. Remove from oil and set on plate with paper towl.




Serve with fresh fruit (or fruit-flavored ice cream) or chocolate or whatever you want, with some sifted powdered sugar atop it. Even though you didn't just dismount from the Gravitron, you may still feel like the room is spinning. Grow a beard, grab a flask and a crack pipe; disown your deodorant and swim in the port-a-potty. Join the carnies and eat a funnel cake.

East Meets East LA

Now that my apartment is completely sans-Asian, I finally have the gall to attempt a dinner of that persuasion. My new Romanian roommate, Sinziana, donated a bag of rice noodles to the cabinet--so we made a vermicelli bowl. I definitely don't have all those weird oils and pastes that are typically added into Asian food, so I cut some corners. No jokes about this one: it's great.

Begin dish with bringing a large pot of water to boil on stove; prepare a large bowl of iced water next to it, and a colander not far from there. To blanch the vegetables, drop them in the boiling water; remove them when water begins to boil again; drop in iced water bowl, then drain. On a flat or iron skillet at a medium/low heat, cook about a half pound of medium shrimp and about a half pound of steak meat--I bought mine cut-up already--season with salt and lemon pepper.





Then blanch the following:
1 bunch asparagus (cut into 2-3-inch pieces)
3 small carrots (cut or grated into strips)
1 pkg or bunch bean sprouts.
1 large package rice vermicelli noodles

Drain well, then pile into a large bowl--add cooked shrimp and steak once cooled slightly. Add fish sauce.


Bring to boil 1 cup water, 4 Tbsp. rice vinegar, 4 Tbsp. sugar. Let cool, then add: 1 Tbsp. chopped garlic, 1 squirt hot sauce or 1 small chili pepper (chopped), and 5 Tbsp. fish sauce.

Garnish bowls with fresh cilantro, crunched peanuts, and peanut sauce: mix the following in small bowl or 2-cup measuring cup.


1/2 c. peanut butter (your choice on texture)
1 tsp. sugar
4 tsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. chopped garlic
Juice from a lemon
1 Tbsp. olive oil
1/2 c. water

Mix with a fork and serve over vermicelli bowls--add water if sauce is too thin. Great with egg rolls, too!

Hey Hey, Boo-Boo!!

Don't ask me why these cookies are called Ranger cookies, but it always makes me think of watching, as a child, either Yogi Bear or this cartoon movie called The Ranger of Brownstone that was dubbed onto a family vhs along with some other 80's kids movies--my favorite genre. Oatmeal, cornflakes, AND coconut??-- what a deal. Best damn cookie out there.

Mix together:
1 stick butter, softened (or Crisco)
1 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla

Sift together and stir into wet mix:
2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt

Finally, add:
2 c. oatmeal
2 c. corn flakes
1 c. coconut


Bake at 350 degrees until golden brown. Best if a little undercooked--they'll be softer.

Whoa---time warp! Do not feed the bears.


Jellystoned?